why are DSI wall chargers so hard to find?

ifiruledzeworld asked: your jokes are terrible <3

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO they’re funny

One night little Johnny finished his prayers with “God bless Grandma,” and the very next day his grandmother kicked the bucket. Johnny told his family about his prayer, but no one seemed to give it too much thought. A week later he ended his prayers with “God bless Grandpa,” and the next day his grandfather died. The family was running a little scared by now, and when Johnny finished his prayers one night with “God bless Daddy,” his mother thought maybe she better warn her husband about it. All that night Johnny’s dad couldn’t sleep for worrying, and the next day he came home from work early. “I had a terrible day worrying about all this,” he confided to his wife.

    “You think you had a bad day,” she said. “The mailman came to the door and dropped dead.” 

 I was in the bar the other day and I heard two guys speaking French. I said to them, “Why are you speaking French? You’re in America now, speak Spanish.”

 

    How many Amish does it take to screw in a light bulb?    The Amish don’t have light bulbs. They bake pies.

 Jewish foreplay is three hours of begging. Italian foreplay is, “Maria, I’m home.”

The government said Americans are all geographically illiterate and economically ignorant. It’s true. How many times have you said to yourself, “Where did all my money go?”

I hate it when someone makes me laugh when I’m drinking something,

They be like:

I be like:

(Source: anitaiglesias, via inperfectoblivion)

Tumblr needs to change its error message.

I’d rather see:

“We are sorry for this inconvenience but here’s a dancing cat”

then i’d be all;

(Source: yourbeautifulmadness, via inperfectoblivion)